If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize