no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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