I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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