jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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