That's intense
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
