i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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