I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
