He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
