Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
