Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
