I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
