What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
