Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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