We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize