he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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