Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
