Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
