dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
