imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i came on her dog
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can I color on your dick again?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
