I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
