So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
