You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
