It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
