Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize