just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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