some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
