waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
