dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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