it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
