btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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