make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
