i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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