Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
