so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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