if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize