when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize