Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
