Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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