I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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