ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
