so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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