It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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