like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
