CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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