Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i think my cat just said my name.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize