Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize