She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
