Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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