Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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