Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
