He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
