I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
