Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
