when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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