Welp...herpes.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
