you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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