does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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