If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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