This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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