he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize