Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
