All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
