I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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