need another drink. this is the easiest way
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
