i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
