I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize