Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
