I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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