i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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