I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
