At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
