Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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