Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
