Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
