i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
