happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
