I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
