didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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